Diary
by Yanvi
Summary: One day, Iruka pulls out his diary and he has a secret reader!  Kakashi/Iruka


**Diary**

_For Scarecrow and Dolphin_

One summer afternoon

'It is very sunny, which is a good day to tidy up and do all the housework', Iruka thought, 'the house is in a total mess.' He carefully plans the schedule and the works that he needs to get done today in his head. It has been 3 months since Kakashi has moved in and lived with Iruka. They have been dated for 6 months before Kakashi suggested that it would be ideal if they live together as then they don't need to rent 2 flats and they can have more time together.

Although it has been awhile and that he is certain that Kakashi's love, then he stills does not understand why. He is just a ordinary, average Chunin, nothing particular, as he is not handsome at all. Well, some of his students and colleagues said that he has a very charming and warm smile and that he devotes his passion into teaching and into his students, etc. However, Iruka sighs, nobody knows his true character. Well, 3rd Hokage-sama and Kakashi know his true skills though; he corrects himself in his mind. No ordinary Chunin can manage to complete a class A mission alone. If it is only once, it is probably sheer luck, but he has completed 5, though 3 out of 5, he was badly injured and rescued by an ANBU. Although Iruka really wants to find out which ANBU has saved his life, 3rd Hokage-sama refused to disclosure, then as a Chunin, he smirks, no way he will ever find it out.

Kakashi is only coming back this afternoon, and he has not seen him for a while. This is because last month, Iruka went out for a class B mission. It is seldom for a teacher to get a mission, but as the mission is based in a school in the land of Lightning, Hokage decided to get a teacher to carry out the task as all the staff in Konoha Ninja Academy know their syllabus off by heart. When he managed to complete his mission, Kakashi has already left with team 7 for their mission 12 hours ago. Iruka sighted, if he was lucky, he should able to bump into Kakashi on his way back to Konoha.

Anyway, since Kakashi always come back inexpertly, Iruka decides it is a good idea to write his diary first as he doesn't want Kakashi to know or to read the diary. It is rather depressing for Iruka, as he is not sure what will Kakashi thinks of him if he knows the _real_ Iruka. He knows Kakashi's history well, he always just feel that the reason that Kakashi falls in love with him is because of his so call warmness and calmness. But does he know that the man that he falls in love is not his true self? But Iruka can't risk it, as he cannot help himself. He wants Kakashi to be happy, even if he can only offer a very short period, as life as a shinobi; stability is a gift that they never dare to ask for. Even for a class B mission, it is hard to certain that a shinobi can come back to the village unharmed, as there are so many enemies out there.

He walks into the study and looks carefully at the bookshelf. He is certain that Kakashi has not read his books and other than Icha Icha Paradise, which are placed at the opposite bookshelf, Iruka doubts that Kakashi will ever looks at his books, as he knows Kakashi won't be interest in them. He takes out _The Sorrows of Young Werther_ with his right hand from the bookshelf. He makes a jutsu with his left hand solely to unlock the book. It is actually not a real book; it is Iruka secret box that he uses to store his diary. He gently places the 'book' on the table that is next to the window in the study and carefully takes out a blue leather cover diary from the 'book'. He supports his head with his right hand and stares at the blue sky. He carefully exacts the dark memories that he has from his mind and pick up the pen in the box with his left hand. He flips the diary with his left index finger to the page that he last finished on. Instead of his writing, he sees a familiar handwriting that is not his. It was Kakashi's. he stunned, 'how the hell he knows where my diary is?' he screams. He is very concern now, what will Kakashi thinks of him? Will he be so disappointed that he is going to break up when he is back? Iruka is so scared now; he never thought that one day there would be somebody knows his true character. Nonetheless, he decides to read what Kakashi has wrote before he can plan out what he should do next. In the diary, Kakashi wrote:

'Dear Ruka,

I won't apologise that I have intruded your privacy, as I doubt that there is anything that we should keep away from each other, since I have known you inside out.

It is really unnecessary that you have to hide your so call dark side from me, as you know I have been thought a dark time and I understand your pain.

Although you may also thought that I fall in love with you as you are nice and warm and even 3rd Hokage thought that this attracted me. But, no, my dear Ruka, it was really you, as what you are that attracted me. I closely observed you before I aware that I have fallen in love with you. In the first place, I was just simply interested to know more about you. You may laugh at me when you read this. But I have to confess that I have found my interested in you when I was in ANBU. I never thought that a Chunin would ever complete a class A mission. Once I told you this, I guessed you have figured out. Yes, I was the ANBU that have rescued you three times. Although it was against my orders, my body reacted faster than my mind. My hand has already drawn out the sword and killed your enemy before I can even realise. The harsh training in ANBU enables me to kill without thinking; I was just a killing machine. Without you, I don't ever dare to think that I will have a partner and a place that I can totally relax and sleep deeply.

Therefore, my Ruka, please don't hide your true self to me, maybe it was the same darkens that attracted me in the first place. Instead of like me, draw all the emotion back into our skull, you burst out all your passion to our village and only tries to heal yourself in the dark corner like an injured animal. But Ruka, remember, next time, you at least still got me around and we can lick our wounds together in the dark.

I love you.

Love,

KKS'

When he finished, he cannot withdraw his tears. He quickly wipes his tears away with his sleeves. He never knows until now. He never imagines that Kakashi has loved him so dearly. He is wrong; he has underestimated Kakashi's love. He should have know, as Kakashi has become a Jounin when he was 12, he has observed the dark side of the world since then. He tears out a page from the diary and takes out another book from the drawer. It is _The Read and the Black_, one of Iruka's favourite book, he carefully opens the book and places his diary inside the book and seal it with a jutsu. Although he doesn't mind that Kakashi has read the diary, he still wishes to hide it away from him, as it is already become a habit that craved into his bones. He has to write down his thoughts, so that he can keep his mask perfectly secure on his face, though he will tries to relax more when Kakashi is around. He picks up his pen again and quickly scribbes on the paper that he has just torn out:

'Dear Scarescow,

My love. Thank you.

Just want to say, 'I love you too.'

Love,

Dolphin'

Then he gently places the paper back into the box and seals it up with a jutsu. 'It is already quite late', Iruka looks at the sky and thinks, 'since Kakashi is coming back today, I should pop down to the market to get some aubergine so that I can make miso aubergine tonight.'

Kakashi actually come back early and send the boys and girl home as soon as they arrived at the gate. When he reaches their flat, he sees Iruka is leaving the house. He quietly moves towards the study window and swiftly moves inside though the window. He carefully opens the _The Sorrows of Young Werther_. But he is shocked that Iruka has moved his diary away. He picks up the note that Iruka just wrote and without realising it, the corners of his mouth moves slightly upwards. 'How can I not love you, my Ruka?' he whispers and places the note back into the book and put the book backs into the shelf. 'It will be a good night,' he thinks, 'it will be a good night when ever Ruka is within my arms,' he adds.

_The End_


End file.
